Bridesmaids! How to be top tier.
You’ve just been added to yet another WhatsApp group, so it can only mean one thing: Bridesmaids – who are they, and what do they do?
Well you could let the epic 2011 movie of the same name be your guide, because I’m not sure things will run particularly smoothly on your wedding day. Side note: Bridesmaids starring Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph is hands down one of my favourite comedies – so many quotable lines and snorting-laughter moments. If you ever want a Bridesmaids quote-off, hit me up.
“Oooh, Helen knows the ownerrr…!”
But, I digress. Nowadays, it’s fairly commonplace for a bride to be accompanied by a gang of people, sometimes affectionately known as a bride tribe or bride squad (hashtag, hashtag). Sometimes there may be bridesmen or bridespeople who make up your gang. There’s no rules to this thing, and a wedding doesn’t necessitate a bridesmaid, groomsmen or any of that palava as long as there’s the couple and two witnesses.
Bridesmaids provide support and assistance on the wedding day, alongside one of the most important duties: arranging the hen party! As someone who has been both a bride and a bridesmaid, I’ve seen both sides of the coin, and luckily I have enjoyed a relatively stress-free experience. My two bridesmaids knew exactly what I wanted my for hen do, and we did it, and on my wedding day they were stars.
As a UK wedding photographer, I meet a new bride tribe practically every weekend, starting with a quizzical sideye as I arrive, in their matching pyjama sets (a trend doesn’t seem to want to die out anytime soon). Believe me when I say knocking on the door to arrive for bridal prep can be quite daunting; I’m a random with a camera and I’m entering your inner sanctum. As I advise every person in those early moments of a wedding day, please be assured I try to avoid taking any photos of people without their makeup on so don’t worry. You stuffing a croissant down, bare-faced, will not make it onto my Instagram feed.
I always remember what I consider to be the super bridal parties: those who don’t treat me like a stranger/intruder and are actively looking to help the day run smoothly for everyone concerned - whether that’s their friends getting married, or for us wedding suppliers who are making it happen. It might be offering help or a cup of tea - I never forget the top tier bridespeople 🤩
When there’s a lot of bridesmaids or people in the bridal party, it can get quite frenetic in the hour or so leading up to the wedding ceremony. One of the most valuable pieces of advice on this, is that bridesmaids should get ready (ie dressed) fairly soon after all of their hair and makeup is done. Too often I hear “we’ve got ages yet!” followed by the inevitable mad panicked dash as everyone’s left it really late to get dressed. In an ideal world, bridesmaids need to be dressed before the bride, and often it takes longer for everyone to get dressed than they think, particularly when dresses don’t fit (eek, this happens more than you think).
The more bridesmaids you have, the longer it’ll take for all of them to get dressed. If nearly everyone’s hair and makeup is done, start getting dressed. And once they’re dressed, banish them from your room if you feel like you need some calm, as it can get a bit crazy whilst you’re putting on your dress.
Once everyone’s dressed, where time and space allows, it’s always good to do a little reveal, if your squad haven’t seen the dress before!
So what’s expected of being a bridesmaid?
On the wedding day they should be looking after the bride/groom on their special day. Whether that’s making sure the dress is alright and not getting caught in knickers, or helping make sure the day runs smoothly. Your friend getting married might find themselves uncharacteristically nervous, anxious, quiet, or yes, maybe bad-tempered. Never underestimate how much of a calming influence bridesmaids can be, whether it’s being supportive by providing some laughs or words of wisdom, fetching drinks and snacks, or just generally being a hype woman.
Things can get totes emosh, and so I’d hope one of your girl gang would be on hand to whip out a tissue where required. Weddings have this funny way of getting us right in the heart, particularly when the importance of the day hits – usually just before the ceremony. Having your best people around you is such a comfort.
Top tip: every single person at the wedding (guests and wedding suppliers) will have a zillion questions for the couple. It’s not unheard of for guests to seek out the married couple to ask where the loos are, like no-one else can help?! Be a top tier bridesmaid by being on hand to answer questions that you can help with. Having questions fired at you on your own wedding day can be stress-inducing, so help a gal out by letting guests and suppliers know you can help if they need answers.
I love it when bridesmaids lead the way on the dancefloor, encouraging everyone to get involved. Guests are often nervous about cutting some shapes early doors, so I’m always grateful to those bride tribes who get the party started. You want epic dancefloor photos? Get your bride tribe onto the dancefloor and the rest will follow.
I see all kinds of bridesmaids throughout the year, loud ones, quiet ones, witty ones, aggy ones (yep), and they all form the crazy legion that makes up your bridal party. There’s no real rules to bridesmaidery, just endless Whatsapp groups! We wouldn’t have it any other way though, would we?
